November 16, 2009
Will I be having sex soon? ~ Aaaah
Dear Aaaah, (Hope I spelled your name right)
Just by the fact that you asked me this question I was able to determine your maturity level as being that of the average twelve year old.
Therefore the answer to your question is maybe. If you consider spanking the monkey as sex.
If you are asking if you will have sex soon with another human then I would have to say, probably not for another ten years or so.
Posted by A. M. J.. Posted In :
Teen Advice
October 22, 2009
Who is the richest man in the world? ~Alfa
Dear Alfa,
Let me GOOGLE that for you.....
William Gates III (a.k.a. Bill Gates) is the richest man in the world although, poor baby, he lost $18 Billion USD last year. He kicked Warren Buffett out of the top slot as richest man in the world. The recession has hurt everyone, even the richest of the rich.
It's interesting to think about the possibilities. Last year the world had 1,125 billionaires. Today there are 793. Where did the $1.4 trillion that they had go? Maybe the recession was orchestrated by Bill Gates to eliminate the competition. Hmmm.
By the way, Bill just got a little richer today. Windows 7 was released with a whole new set of features that will guarantee a steady stream of revenue till the next bugs upgrades are released.
Bill Gates is worth $40 Billion USD
Alfa, this is an advice column. Although Bill Gates IS UGLY and I just told you the TRUTH, I take questions in regards to life, relationships and advice in general. Do you have any other questions?
Posted by A. M. J.. Posted In :
Technology
October 5, 2009
I'm having contractions and had diarrhea last night, will I have my baby soon? ~ PrincessDear Princess,It depends on what kind of baby you are talking about. I have laid a few that could be considered big enough to be babies. I am not sure but I think you may have confused two separate orifices.
My advice would be to call your local Planned Parenthood and ask them if they have any emergency parenting classes. If they do, sign up immediately and ask these questions:
- Where do babies come from? (How are they made and where do they exit the body from)
- Am I pregnant, and when they say yes...
- How did that happen?
These are a few of the basic questions you should ask. If you still are having a hard time distinguishing the difference between diarrhea and your baby (if you are pregnant), then do the following:While sitting on the toilet, stick your hand where the fluids are coming from and then look at your hand. If it's brown, yellow, green or some other earthy color then it's diarrhea, if whatever is coming out gives you a high five then it's a baby and you should get to the hospital.
Posted by A.M.J.. Posted In :
Seriously Speaking
